What Happens In Costa Del Sol
by icyboots
Summary: He had memory issues, dreamed about killing her evil male counterpart, had a ridiculous name, had a ridiculous hair, his dream job was to be a delivery-man, and was the leader of a resistance against the ShinRa government. Still, she guessed she could do worse for a husband. AU. Fem!Sephiroth/Cloud.
1. Chapter 1

I noticed the lack of fem!seph and so I had to do something about it. This is basically a vegas-wedding fic in a ffvii-verse where Jenova chose another planet to crash-land onto. It's also a fic that shouldn't be taken seriously at all.

* * *

**What Happens In Costa Del Sol**

it started with a color-changing drink

* * *

It was a typical afternoon at the ShinRa headquarters and Sephiroth, the highest ranked 1st class SOLDIER, was doing her daily duties in her office, relishing on the moment of peace where no one bothered her.

The moment was short-lived, however, when her office's door was slammed open revealing a furious Genesis and a concerned Angeal.

Raising one eyebrow at the rather rude entry, Sephiroth greeted them with a dull 'good afternoon' before she went back to doing her paperwork.

"Don't 'good afternoon' me! Explain yourself! And more importantly, why didn't you invite us?!"

"Invite you to what?"

"You know what!"

Unamused, Sephiroth turned from Genesis to Angeal. "What is he on about?"

"Why didn't you tell us that you got married?" Angeal, ever the honest and forward man, simply asked.

"That I got _what_?" Somehow, she had a feeling that she was going to repeat things a lot this day.

"Married! Hitched! Entered the Golden Cage!" Genesis exclaimed, looking more furious. "The public is in chaos, your suitors are openly crying, and your fan-club is threatening to topple the nation if they don't know the identity of the person you married!"

Seeing that Genesis was still being overly dramatic, she asked Angeal again, "Who said that I got married?"

Before Angeal could answer, Genesis exclaimed, "There's no need to say anything; it's written on your public record!"

Every member of ShinRa - the well-known ones, at least - had a public record that everyone with a working network could access to. Nothing worth keeping, of course; just general information about favorite foods and colors and others including relationship status. They said that it was to get the people close to the government and keep in touch. Frankly, Sephiroth thought it was a propaganda.

Clicking away to open her record, she saw it, the 'married' next to the relationship status section. Now utterly confused, she clicked again to see more - the more that no one but her could see - and read with increasing confusion.

_Married to Cloud Strife on October 1st, 0009._

She frowned thoughtfully when it turned out that the digital marriage registration copy was authentic; it had her signature on it after all.

But still, this wasn't possible; someone must've faked this. She didn't marry a Cloud Strife. She didn't _know_ anyone named Cloud Strife.

"Such an _unfortunate_ name." Genesis snickered as he read next to her. Angeal smacked him.

Sephiroth didn't pay them any heed as her eyes widened with realization.

_Cloud Strife. Strife. Ridiculous name. Ridiculous hair..._

* * *

_She really had no idea what she was doing, and it showed when she spent her time at the night-club just staring at her drink, wondering why it was shining so brightly. Everyone around her was dancing on loud beats and having the time of their lives while she simply sat there, only wanting to take off her rather overdone disguise and simply confused; why did Angeal and Genesis want so badly for her to go here? She didn't see the appeal of it in any sort of way._

_As the time passed, she grew bored, and although many attempted to coax her into dancing - and if she liked, even **more** than dancing - she chose to ignore them in favor of continuing to stare at her drink. **Is it me or is it changing colors every time I blink?**_

_"Are going to drink that?" an unfamiliar voice asked amusedly. Sephiroth blinked when she realized that source of it was beside her._

_It was a young man, early twenties or so judging from his side-profile alone. Strangely enough, he wasn't looking at her - even though she was sure the question was aimed at her; no one was close to the bar at the moment. "I don't know," she replied honestly, frowning. "You want it?"_

_He finally looked at her then, surprised at her response._

_Despite the dim lights of the club she could clearly see his features - features that she regarded with an appreciative hum; he was rather good-looking, with handsomely boyish face and stunning bright blue eyes. His ridiculously-styled blonde hair somehow suited him, a feat she thought was impossible with any other person._

_"No," he shook his head before giving a small awkward smile, "I can help you pick out another one if you don't like it though."_

_"And you know better because...?" It was true that she had no idea what kind of drinks this night-club served, but she wasn't going to tolerate someone making jabs at her ignorance._

_Sensing her offence, he quickly answered, "Because my friend sometimes works as a barmaid; she taught me a few useful tips for a better drinking experience."_

_"Oh," she only managed to reply, her slight irritation replaced by curiosity. "Thank you then..."_

_"Cloud," he completed for her. "Now drink this and see if it'd gain your like."_

_And raising her glass, she did._

* * *

She did like her drink, but she was curious about the others too, so she asked and Cloud helped her. Together, they figured out the ones that suited her tastes. And since she ordered a drink for him, insisting for him to accept, it wasn't that much of a surprise that they became increasingly more drunk as the time passed - even a SOLDIER like her could get drunk with enough alcohol.

It was the most fun she had that night, she realized as she remembered what happened more clearly.

Still, there were still missing pieces; that memory didn't explain the marriage.

"You remembered him, didn't you," Genesis accused, all while Angeal sighed tiredly.

She ignored him again as she searched for more info about her alleged husband, only to get results that made her blink in surprise.

_**Name:** Cloud Strife._

_**Birthplace:** Nibelheim._

_**Occupation:** Former infantryman__ of ShinRa._

_**Status:** Unknown (reported missing on 0002)._

"That's it? No further info? Not even a picture?" Angeal questioned, utterly surprised himself.

Genesis had other concerns. "An infantryman? _Seriously_, Sephiroth?"

Before she could reply with something she'd regret, her PHS rang with an emergency call from the president.

"We will talk about this later," both Angeal and Genesis warned. She only nodded absently and stood up, leaving them to follow her.

* * *

"As you all know, the AVALANCHE resistance movement caused us problems for the last two years, and unlike other movements, AVALANCHE's members are few and hard to track..."

It was impressive, really, how a movement that small managed to cause that much damage to ShinRa enough to be a serious threat. While ShinRa's higher-ups seethed in frustration, she along with many others - including the vice president - watched the whole thing unfold with obvious amusement.

"... When they arrived here in Midgar, we managed to get a shot of one of them - the one we suspect to be the leader."

On the wide screen, she saw a familiar spiky blond hair, and even though the picture wasn't that clear and his features couldn't be distinguished, she instantly knew who he was.

_Well then._

What did one do upon finding out that their spouse was the leader of a resistance they were supposed to get rid of?

"I'll take him on myself," Sephiroth announced before any course of action was decided, causing many eyes to turn her way in total shock; she usually didn't partake in anything regarding AVALANCHE - only giving her input when asked.

But this case was different; it was personal.

She and her _husband_ needed to talk.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm probably butchering a lot of canon facts in this, but something has to explain somethings, right?

* * *

**What Happens In Costa Del Sol**

morbid fascination was an understatement

* * *

She knew that if she didn't offer an explanation soon, Genesis and Angeal wouldn't leave her alone, so the moment they returned from the emergency meeting, she started, "You know that mission in Costa Del Sol we took a week ago?"

They nodded.

"The one where you two insisted that I should go to a night-club upon finishing it?"

They nodded again, their expressions alarmed.

"There you have it."

There was silence, and then: "We leave you one night- no, _two hours_ alone and you manage to get yourself married?!"

"We thought that a night without ShinRa's surveillance would loosen you up..." Angeal muttered, his eyes filled with guilt.

"Most people would've had one-night-stands!" Genesis was being annoyingly dramatic this day, even by his standards. _Maybe it has to do with the copy of LOVELESS I hid earlier._

Sephiroth sighed tiredly. "You're overreacting, it's just marriage."

"Just _marriage_?" Genesis asked out of sheer disbelief, looking at Angeal for support and turning away from him when he received none. "I've had it up to here with your nonsense, Mrs. _Strife_. And when are you going to solve this issue anyway?"

She didn't want to give a clear answer; she was as lost as they were about this, so she said instead, "I'm not."

"You're not what?"

"Mrs. Strife. Apparently, I chose not to carry his last name." She could even remember his look of utter understanding when she told him, and it frustrated her that she could remember that_ one little_ detail but not the whole thing.

"So did you..." Angeal sounded rather sheepish, so much that she was slightly dreading what he was about to ask, "did you manage to have your wedding night at least?"

Sephiroth only frowned in response.

"You did come back a couple of hours after we dropped you off," Genesis reasoned, and with a growing smirk, he continued, "and you looked the same except for the fact that you were sobering up. Not one hair out of place."

Sephiroth frowned even more.

If what Genesis was implying was true, that she didn't reach to the '3rd Base' as the saying went with Cloud - she still couldn't get used to the name; who named their child Cloud anyway? - she should be relived, right? After all, she didn't like to sleep with people she didn't know.

But Sephiroth couldn't deny that she felt a bit... _disappointed_ about that, and that was alarming in itself.

Then again, he was _incredibly_ good-looking. Definitely her type if she had one.

* * *

When professor Hojo was informed that his wife was with a child, he was thrilled. Finally, he'd be able to work on something worthwhile with the many discoveries he made about Mako, a work he could call his own, a being that would rival the Cetra themselves in power and glory.

He already picked a name as he headed to confirm the news: Sephiroth, a name fitting for one destined for greatness.

When professor Hojo was informed that Sephiroth was, in fact, a female, his mind blanked for a moment, unconsciously crossing many tests and experiments off the list he worked on ever since knowing of Sephiroth's existence.

But then the blankness faded and he had an epiphany: it didn't matter what sex his Sephiroth - his precious future project - was, she'd still fulfill what he envisioned. The fact that Sephiroth was female only made it more challenging, and he was all for a challenge when he saw one.

Much to his pleasure, Sephiroth was a success after many experiments and treatments and didn't have any issues with Mako at all - not surprising since he made sure for her to be perfect. Perfect diet, perfect training, perfect education and even perfect suitors.

She was his best work yet, the best SOLDIER there ever was.

So when he was informed that she got married, to an unknown individual no less, professor Hojo almost had a heart attack.

He tried to access to her public record, to learn more about this individual Sephiroth had chosen, but all he reached was a dead end. Apparently, even he couldn't access to the info without permission.

"Damn the ShinRa propaganda!"

* * *

_"You know, you remind me of someone?" her drinking companion, who was now known as Cloud, said after a quiet moment._

_"Really now?" It wouldn't be the first time that someone said that to her; some of her features couldn't be covered even with the most brilliant of disguises. She even received many pick-up lines using the same line, a proof of how unoriginal some were._

_"Yeah, he's a bastard though," Cloud muttered, his eyes showing utter loathing._

_"He is?" She expected him to say that she resembled 'that 1st class SOLDIER, Sephiroth' like many before him, not this... unique response._

_"Every night I dream about killing him, but he just keeps coming back, all smirks and taunts." She had a feeling that he must've been **really** drunk to tell her of this, but she couldn't help but to be curious about who the seemingly calm and quiet Cloud loathed so much._

_"What's he like?"_

_"Well, he's frustratingly strong and really hard to kill, with long silver hair that somehow looks perfect despite all the movement. I think that's why he's the way he is, no one can have a hair that perfect without a price." He looked thoughtful for a moment before he added, "you know, he does remind me of ShinRa's Sephiroth- no wait, he reminds me **a lot** of her, kinda like..."_

_"A male counter-part?" she continued for him._

_He gave her a heartfelt nod at that. "Yeah, exactly!"_

_So he dreamed about killing her male counter-part, and from what he implied, it seemed that he actually won and kept winning._

_It was morbid that she found him ten times more attractive after knowing this._

_Mistaking her silence for one out of offence, Cloud smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, not the nicest thing someone ever said to you, huh?"_

_Sephiroth smiled back, a smile that Genesis and Angeal described as ruthlessly flirty, almost purring as she replied, "Oh no, you don't need to apologize. I rather like it, actually."_

* * *

Sephiroth blinked as she took in the sudden flashback, sitting in the helicopter that would deliver her to where the AVALANCHE member/leader was last spotted.

_So I wasn't interested in him just for looks._


	3. Chapter 3

I only have the vaguest idea where this is going.

* * *

**What Happens In Costa Del Sol**

remembering things is overrated

* * *

_Show that you have basic understanding of how Materia works just once and all of a sudden, you're the one in charge of gearing the whole team._

Cloud sighed.

Two years had passed and he still wondered how he became the leader of a ragtag bunch of misfits, or in other word: AVALANCHE. Maybe he was tricked into it, maybe it came to him eventually, or maybe he was utterly drunk and didn't realize what he was doing.

_Just like in Costa Del Sol._

Cloud sighed again, this time heavier.

The team wanted to relax after their successful operation in Junon, and so they decided to take a week-long vacation in Costa Del Sol. The promise of relaxation without worrying was very tempting, in fact, that even he joined in to convince the others - mainly Vincent - of the idea.

The vacation went on great, they had fun and even managed to go to Gold Saucer for a few days, and by the end of the week, they were refreshed and ready for action. He would've even deemed it the best vacation he ever had - not that there were that many of them - if it weren't for what happened on the last night.

It started simple enough; just him wanting one final drink before the others picked him up and set for Midgar. But then he noticed _her_ from the corner of his eye, a young woman wearing overly fancy clothes who simply stared at her drink with a look of utter confusion. Cloud instantly knew that she was new to this, and seeing that he needed to improve his social skills in the spirit of the vacation, he decided to talk to her and offer help. Having Tifa as a friend made him rather well-versed in the world of alcohol, after all.

Then again, maybe he shouldn't be proud of that.

He didn't expect for her to respond honestly; he saw the many people she rejected to even talk to, so imagine his surprise when she answered and offered her drink.

He was momentarily struck with how... well, _beautiful_ she was when he finally looked at her - even with the guise of the expensive-looking hat, shades and trench coat. Thankfully, she didn't seem to notice that he took a while to respond. They even - by some sort of a miracle - managed to engage in a conversation and then in drinking.

Everything went downhill from there on.

He remembered almost everything; him talking about his constant nightmares, her not being scared off for some reason by his oddness, him attempting to flirt - he would trade everything just to have an amnesia again - despite his drunken state, her not punching him in response, and then them signing the marriage certificate.

Poor lady, he couldn't imagine what her reaction would be. To have someone inform her that she was married, to a guy named Cloud Strife - he was glad she didn't take his name; he didn't want anyone to be graced with his family's unfortunate legacy - no less? He felt so guilty about it, and he really wanted to fix this. But all he knew about her was that she lived in Midgar and worked in a high-paying but tedious job, he didn't even have a _name._

With how big Midgar was, he was going to be searching for a very, _very_ long time.

It was a shame, really. In other circumstances, he would've asked her out. Now she probably wanted to behead hi-

There was the sound of something sharp cutting into the air, something that was decidedly heading towards his way.

_What the...?_

It was only sheer instinct that saved him from being beheaded for real, he thought as he stared at the long sword that pierced into the wall next to him. He followed the sword's length to see the bright green eyes of ShinRa's 1st class SOLDIER, Sephiroth.

Cloud knew that coming to Midgar was risky, but not _this_ risky. SOLDIERs never seemed to be interested in AVALANCHE's operations, so for the best of them to appear? It was baffling.

1st class Sephiroth. She was as intimidating and deadly as she was beautiful, just her mere presence put fear in the hearts of the strongest of men. Her aid in battle tipping the scales to the side she was with. Definitely a person one didn't want to meet on not-so-friendly terms.

Still, he took out his own sword, ready to fight. He wasn't going to go down easily. _So much for peaceful Materia shopping._

She raised a fine eyebrow at that, swiftly pulling her sword from the wall, before tilting her head. "You have SOLDIER eyes, why is that?"

Her voice was criminally silky and smooth and cold, yet... _familiar._ He reasoned that maybe it was because he heard her talking on the TV before but he felt there was more to it than that.

Cloud frowned, now realizing what she said. Since he didn't want to answer - he didn't want to speak about his bitter experience with ShinRa's labs, after all - he attacked, hoping it would distract the SOLDIER from asking more questions. Soon enough, the two of them were engaged in a heated battle, their strikes so fast that all the onlookers could see were blurs of black and silver and gold.

They were fighting toe-to-toe, every strike blocked and every slash dodged. Their swords crossed, Cloud looked up to see that the curious expression on Sephiroth's face was gone, replaced by a smug one. "You were wearing contacts."

That random notion surprised Cloud, giving her the opening to overpower him into being pinned to a wall. "I never wear contacts." _Except that one time in Costa Del Sol, but I doubt that-_

"No," Cloud muttered, eyes wide in almost horror.

Sephiroth looked absolutely diabolic, her face inches away from his own. "I was curious about the kind of man I married on a drunken whim. Can't say that I'm disappointed."

"_No,_" Cloud muttered again.

"Those plain shirt and jeans looked nice on you, but," she leaned closer - Cloud cursed his short stature at that moment - and whispered into his ear, "you look _better_ in black."

Suddenly, Cloud wondered if he flirted that _badly_ with her on that fateful night.

* * *

_"I like your lips." Cloud grinned, face flushed from sheer drunkenness. "Not only because I can only see them along with your nose, I like your nose too by the way, but because they look very soft and glossy and kissable."_

_His equally drunk companion only laughed her heart out._

* * *

Fuck.

"This isn't really happening," Cloud said, eyes closed shut and his tone almost pleading.

Sadly, Sephiroth wasn't one for mercy, as she pulled away from him with a smirk. "It is happening, and I have a question for you."

His life couldn't suck this badly, right?

"Did we or did we not have an intercourse that night?"

Oh, how he really wanted to have another amnesia.


	4. Chapter 4

I think I finally have an idea as to where to take this...

* * *

**What Happens In Costa Del Sol**

sometimes your friends' objection is better than their support

* * *

After passionately denying the '3rd base' proclaims - he wasn't even going to think about the somewhat disappointed expression Sephiroth had. He was _not_ - Cloud began explaining their situation and how to try to fix it.

Marriage in Gaia was a simple affair, the requirements of it being a) two willing partners, and b) a marriage contractor. No need of extravagant celebrations or announcements. Of course, the process slightly differed from one place to the other, but the basic idea was the same.

And there laid the problem - two problems, actually.

The first was with the contractor they used for their marriage. While most contractors usually worked in offices in known locations, theirs was a traveling one, going from one region to another.

"Something about spreading unions of love throughout the Planet," Cloud relayed.

Thus he couldn't be located so easily. And with one requirement of the divorce process being that the original contractor was to break the marriage, this was an obstacle they had to overcome.

"Luckily, I got his schedule." Looking 'The Sealer of Love' up on the internet proved to be very _interesting -_ he was scarred for life_ - _but he found him eventually.

Knowing where the contractor was, however, didn't help much with the other problem, which was... well, _them._

Because how could he, of AVALANCHE, and her, of SOLDIER, take time to track the contractor without alerting anyone to their current status?

Unfortunately for them, their allies, concerned about their prolonged absence, chose that moment to intervene - not giving them the chance to sort that issue out.

They glanced at each other in promise for later discussion before they fought again, giving everyone the illusion that all what they were doing was that.

* * *

For many centuries, the Cetra and the humans lived in peace, every side willing to keep its problems. Of course, there were some conflicts of interest in between: like the time a human had the brilliant idea of exerting the Planet's energy, or the time a Cetra redesigned the road to the capital in the vaguest way possible, almost causing a war along the process.

Humans proved to be even more sneaky though, the SOLDIER program being the biggest example.

When the possibilities of the traits gained by Mako were discovered, the ShinRa government was the first to take advantage, conducting all sorts of experiments in hopes of making enough super soldiers to finally overthrow the Cetra. The process of making SOLDIERS, however, proved to be very slow with few successes, and Sephiroth - the first and last to ever get pure Mako injections while still a fetus - was the most high-profiled one.

Not many, though, could say much about Sephiroth's early childhood. Not the way Vincent Valentine could.

Vincent was there when the project first started and, as a Turk, was assigned to watch over it and make sure there were no complications. He was there when Sephiroth was born, there for her when her father was too busy thinking of other experiments to conduct while her mother was too weary by the effects of Mako to even hold her.

And even though his job demanded no such thing, Vincent grew to care for the child as the years passed, thinking of her as his own.

But then Lucrecia became even sicker than the usual and Vincent went to confront Hojo - a confrontation that was long overdue, but he kept quiet for both Sephiroth and Lucrecia - getting shot and dying as a result.

More than twenty years had passed when Vincent woke up, facing the reality of the world, Lucrecia and Sephiroth moving on without him.

It took some time, but he slowly but surely coped and caught up - he even managed, if albeit indirectly, to reconnect with Sephiroth.

So if there was anyone who deserved to know about him marrying Sephiroth, it would be Vincent, and Cloud would never hide something like that from him. He'd figure out anyway; surely Sephiroth would tell him through one of the many messages they frequently exchanged after Vincent's awakening.

"We're trying to fix it, though. I'm sure this whole thing will soon be over." Cloud was ready for all sorts of reactions, from the mild to the extreme.

He didn't expect for Vincent to hold him in a sudden, tight hug, shakily muttering, "Take care of each other."

Forgetting to struggle to breathe, Cloud said, eyes wide in shock and disbelief, "We're looking for a way to _divorce_."

Vincent didn't appear that he listened to a word he said, hugging him even more tightly. "She grew up too fast."

He wasn't going to deal with this. "Vincent, _no_."

As sudden as the hug, Vincent turned away and left. If he didn't know any better, Cloud would've thought he heard him... sniffling.

Honestly, he expected a face-to-face with Death Penalty, but this reaction was somehow even scarier.

* * *

He and Sephiroth never got the chance to discuss things properly, seeming to always end up fighting just so they wouldn't appear suspicious.

It was frustrating, really, but not as much as his comrades' impressions on the situation. Even if he didn't tell them about the marriage, they thought there was something going on between him and Sephiroth - which yeah, there was, but not what they were thinking!

Nanaki simply informed him that humans' mating habits were curious and that they were doing a good job at it judging from the look on their faces. "What look?" Cloud asked confusedly. Cid grunted a congratulation, offering to fly the 'happy couple', as he put it, anywhere they wanted. Barret took it upon himself to teach him all about the fine art of courting, telling him that his spiky-ass would bound to mess this relationship - "There's no relationship!" Cloud loudly protested - up if he didn't intervene. Tifa was the same too except she focused on the 'protected and safe' side of things while Aerith just laughed her heart out, satisfied to see how many shades of red his face could turn into. Reeve, through Cait Sith, kindly assured him that he would smuggle any love-letter to Sephiroth if given. Much to his mortification, Yuffie went up to Sephiroth and offered her a date with him in-exchange for rare Materia. "I might hate your government, but I'll let this slide and hook you up with my buddy Cloud over there. Consider it a favor from one girl to another."

The support they were showing embarrassed and baffled him all at once. "Don't you have the slightest care that she works against us?"

"As long as you're happy." They shrugged.

It was then that Cloud decided that he would never tell them the truth, not even on his death-bed. If they were like this when they _assumed_ that he had a relationship with Sephiroth, he didn't want to know what they would do when they found out that he was married to her.

"So when are you officially going to introduce her to us?"

No, he would never tell them.

* * *

Zack wouldn't deny that he looked forward to hear the latest news Kunsel had whenever he came back from a long mission. The ShinRa government's frequent and absurd scandals were a source of endless amusement for third-parties like them, so he thought this time was the same.

He blinked many times upon hearing that Sephiroth got married.

"It's not even a secret, man. How couldn't you have known?" When Zack, overly curious, asked Kunsel who she married, the 2nd class said that he didn't know, but he'd find out. And from what he knew and saw, Zack was certain he would eventually.

But Zack would find out before him.

He immediately went to Angeal and used all his persuading skills to give him a name. After sighing tiredly and making him promise not to tell another soul, Angeal told him.

"Cloud Strife..." Zack slowly repeated. "Angeal, are you sure that's his name?"

"Yeah, why?" His obvious shock and distress must've been obvious; because Angeal asked, already knowing what his answer would be, "You knew him?"

Zack nodded. "They... they told me he died from an accident. They showed me many reports and records proving that but I knew there was something else going on."

Angeal's own eyes widened with recognition. "He's _that_ Cloud? The infantryman you befriended before becoming a 1st class?" _The one you still feel guilty about_, went unsaid.

When Zack nodded again, Angeal quickly dialed on his PHS, still in disbelief about how things had developed. "I think, Puppy, that you have a story to tell."


End file.
